All the bluebells are gone . . .

but ur still in my thoughts. We have Thomas home for a few day's and you are in my thoughts about how proud you would be of him now he is a man. The 1st Nuth to go to university!!! Watch over him and keep him safe on his journey home.

Your in god's garden now sweet Betty Rose, but we still miss you x

'God looked around his garden

And found an empty place,

He then looked down upon the earth

And saw your tired face.

He put his arms around you

And lifted you to rest.

God's garden must be beautiful

He always takes the best.

He knew that you were suffering

He knew you were in pain.

He knew that you would never

Get well on earth again.

He saw the road was getting rough

And the hills were hard to climb.

So he closed your weary eyelids

And whispered, 'Peace be Thine'.

It broke our hearts to lose you

But you didn't go alone,

For part of us went with you

The day God called you home'

I Carry Your Heart With Me . . .

The Royal Wedding has made me think of my own wedding in Mexico and how much I'd wished that some of you were there to share the day with us. I know you were all with us in spirit and my Nan would have had the biggest hat ever, Paul would have been standing by his brothers side as his best man and everyone in spirit would have been looking on and wishing us well. I also remember you Lilly, you came to our party when we came home (even though you forgot and we had to show you the picture when we came to see you) and now you have passed we miss you very much. The poem I read on my wedding day echo's that we carry our loved ones in our heart forever whether they are near or far , sharing each day with us or in heaven watching down on us.

I carry you heart with me . . . By E E Cummings

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear;

and whatever is done by only me is your doing my darling)

I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)

I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than the soul can hope of mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the star apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

Dear Nan . . .

I have been thinking of you since the bluebells started to blossom in my garden. You always loved bluebells and would never let me pick them from the garden. I have some in the lawn and in you honor I have been trying to mow around them.

Many things in my garden remind me of you. I have planted strawberries that remind me of when we used to go strawberry picking at Clacton. Warm sunny day's by the seaside and special treats like strawberry picking, going to the farm shop to see the peacocks and evenings spent playing cards at the bungalow.

Last year I planted a snap dragon or bunnies as you called them but it did not survive the winter. I have put it in the mini-green house. I'm not sure if it will come back to life without the help of divine intervention!!

Do you remember how lovely the gardens were at the hospice and your bed was by the window. You had French doors leading onto a patio, it was the perfect spot for you to spend your last days. I wonder if when you drifted away from your physical body you took time to see your lovely surroundings. We went to a valentines ball this year to raise money for the hospice. A twist of fate has lead us to working with the hospice and I think you maybe have something to do with that.

The spring has almost gone and I feel it has brought some new beginnings in my life with regards to work and looking for a new home for my little family (fingers crossed the IVF will make it grow!!). I have new hope and know you will be watching me and helping when you can.

I miss you, but find you all around me at the moment.

All my love,

Lucy x